[John stares at that message for a long moment, incredulity displacing some of the nothing he's been feeling the past few days. He can always count on a Holmes for that much.]
No. There isn't. We're not killing another innocent man, Mycroft.
We need to get the locker where his body is opened up.
It’s the closest thing we have if this fails! It’s intolerable that he’s not in his own bloody body. It shouldn’t even be possible! At the very least, Stephen is a near-identical match.
Once I fetch Sherlock we’ll make our way there.
Have you successfully obtained a body this way before?
No. And keep your hands the hell off of Stephen. Sherlock can live in another body if that's what he has to do. No one else is going to die because of this.
Oh, yes, I’m just going to sit here and do nothing when someone’s gone off and killed Sherlock. Maybe we wouldn’t have this problem all in the first place if you were a little bit more observant and actually figured out that Sherlock had run off. Why weren’t you with him!? What is the point of having you around if you can’t even look after him? [And now he’s got a target for his anger again.]
[Bucky will see John wince as he listens to Mycroft's angry message. The guilt that Bucky had assuaged begins to creep back into his mind, threatening to claw him back toward the aquarium. This was a mistake. He shouldn't have contacted Mycroft.]
[He's done his best to stay out of this, it's not his business and he doesn't even know Mycroft Holmes. But the things being said are horrible, and when he sees John wince then he can't just stand back any longer.
He slips over on silent feet and leans down over John's shoulder to just touch the audio option, voice a low and ever so mildly threatening rasp.]
Maybe quit throwing stones from glass houses? You're the elder brother, ain't you? Looking after younger siblings should be your job, and the man you're talking about is a grown adult that shouldn't need babysitting. Now apologise.
[Mycroft doesn’t immediately recognize the voice.]
What!? Who is this? What’s going on? John?
[Also, who does he think he is!?]
This is none of your business, so shut up and go away. Besides, John was with Sherlock at the time, I was unable to be there. [‘Unable.’]
Why didn’t you go after him, John? How far did he get before you realized he was gone? My brother is in a different body! I trust that the implications of how abominable this is, is not lost on you! Can you imagine what I’d have to say to our mother, were she here, or if we were somehow returned and he stayed in that state!? What if there are worse consequences to follow? What if the original body’s mind reasserts itself and Sherlock’s consciousness is lost!? He can’t come back from that! What if this experience degrades his mind, shatters it!? The human brain isn’t meant for this kind of thing! Sherlock might not die, but he could lose his intelligence, his morals, his sense of self, any number of increasingly horrific things!
[A panting pause from his rant.]
If anything like that happens to Sherlock, I will blame you.
[He wouldn’t put a hit out on John or anything like that, no. Sherlock would never speak to him again, for one thing. But he could still detest him for his failures.
And all of this really, underneath it all, even if he didn’t realize it at the moment, was a rant at himself.]
Blame me all you want, Mycroft. That isn't gonna change how things are gonna be. You need to calm down. [His own voice grows in confidence as he goes. He's not going to let Mycroft talk to Bucky like that, And he can't just ignore Bucky's words with the man being right there. That wouldn't be fair to him..] You need to get your head out of your arse, as well, and realize this isn't about what you want. It's about Stephen being an innocent man, and Sherlock never saying, not even once, that he wants anything like what you're proposing.
If something goes wrong with him, I'll take responsibility. Your job right now is to convince your little brother not to commit suicide.
[It's not fine, and he feels an urge to sit this Mycroft down and tell him in very plain language exactly all the ways that he's wrong so that he'll remember it for the future.]
No.
[That's to both of them, stern.]
Neither of you will take responsibility if Sherlock kills himself, because that's on his shoulders. He makes his own choices, just like you and I do, good or bad. So stop blaming John for something that's not his fault, and stop accepting blame like you're not capable of standing up and fighting back, and work together to save someone you both care about.
John, you should have been with him, that's your fault. Sherlock makes the wrong choices, all the time, anyway! You know this! Or have you forgotten about his little habits? He can't be left alone! I trusted you to take care of him when I am unable to be there!
[And then, to Bucky--]
Also, this is a private matter and none of your business. Go away.
[John clenches his fist a little tighter. A part of him knows Bucky is right, but the sense of obligation, of failing to live up to the expectations he's placed on himself (less so the ones Mycroft's placed on him), is difficult to shake.]
He's a grown man, Mycroft. I love him, but I can't be his babysitter. That's not how friendship's meant to work. And it's not how brothers are meant to work, either. We can't change the past and I'll do what I can now, but I'm not going to hurt Stephen to help Sherlock. The Sherlock both of us knows wouldn't want that, however he's acting right now.
[Bucky is proud of John for standing up for himself, reaching out to rest his hand briefly on the other man's shoulder to show as much, though his attention remains on the tablet and the voice on the other end.]
John is right, and if you were so worried about his bad choices then you can be there yourself to watch him. I don't know your brother or what he would or wouldn't want, but you don't try and hurt someone else here deliberately in this way, or I'll make sure that you understand why that's a bad idea.
It's a warning that actions have consequences, Mycroft. [John puts in for Bucky.]
I care about Sherlock. What you're talking about isn't love. It's obsession. It's not healthy. Not for you and not for him. God knows it's nothing healthy for Stephen. I will do anything within my power and reason to save him. But I won't hurt other people. That's not right.
[Mycroft's wrestled with variations of the question for some time. How far would he go to save Sherlock? Beyond power and reason? To the point where he'd destroy other people to ensure his safety? Not that what he wanted to do with Stephen was actual destruction, but there was a chance he wouldn't come back. Plus it'd be painful. And technically immoral.
How far would he go? As far as Eurus?
Was this obsession? He hasn't had a chance to step back throughout all of this. To look at anything objectively. But right now, he really didn't want to.
Mycroft's voice comes through, clipped.]
Then I see where you stand on the matter.
[And he hangs up. He'd worry later about John. He'd try to get to Sherlock as soon as possible now.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Audio, morning 297
cw: mentions of suicide
cw: mentions of suicide
You do understand that this might be the only way for him to get back in his body.
I don’t want him dying either, but we can’t just...abandon his original body.
[He’s been thinking about this a lot, okay, John?]
If worse comes to worse, there’s always Stephen Strange.
cw: mentions of suicide
No. There isn't. We're not killing another innocent man, Mycroft.
We need to get the locker where his body is opened up.
cw: mentions of suicide
But agreed, we need to try that first. What are your ideas on getting the locker opened up?
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[He doesn't mean to disparage Stephen, but honestly.]
I have materials to make a bomb. I can try that.
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It’s the closest thing we have if this fails! It’s intolerable that he’s not in his own bloody body. It shouldn’t even be possible! At the very least, Stephen is a near-identical match.
Once I fetch Sherlock we’ll make our way there.
Have you successfully obtained a body this way before?
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And we’d simply put Stephen in the body Sherlock currently has.
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No. I won't help you do that, Mycroft. And don't think about taking out more bloody hits. What the hell were you even thinking with that?
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still @jwatson; audio
He slips over on silent feet and leans down over John's shoulder to just touch the audio option, voice a low and ever so mildly threatening rasp.]
Maybe quit throwing stones from glass houses? You're the elder brother, ain't you? Looking after younger siblings should be your job, and the man you're talking about is a grown adult that shouldn't need babysitting. Now apologise.
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What!? Who is this? What’s going on? John?
[Also, who does he think he is!?]
This is none of your business, so shut up and go away. Besides, John was with Sherlock at the time, I was unable to be there. [‘Unable.’]
Why didn’t you go after him, John? How far did he get before you realized he was gone? My brother is in a different body! I trust that the implications of how abominable this is, is not lost on you! Can you imagine what I’d have to say to our mother, were she here, or if we were somehow returned and he stayed in that state!? What if there are worse consequences to follow? What if the original body’s mind reasserts itself and Sherlock’s consciousness is lost!? He can’t come back from that! What if this experience degrades his mind, shatters it!? The human brain isn’t meant for this kind of thing! Sherlock might not die, but he could lose his intelligence, his morals, his sense of self, any number of increasingly horrific things!
[A panting pause from his rant.]
If anything like that happens to Sherlock, I will blame you.
[He wouldn’t put a hit out on John or anything like that, no. Sherlock would never speak to him again, for one thing. But he could still detest him for his failures.
And all of this really, underneath it all, even if he didn’t realize it at the moment, was a rant at himself.]
cw: suicide
It's fine, Bucky.
Blame me all you want, Mycroft. That isn't gonna change how things are gonna be. You need to calm down. [His own voice grows in confidence as he goes. He's not going to let Mycroft talk to Bucky like that, And he can't just ignore Bucky's words with the man being right there. That wouldn't be fair to him..] You need to get your head out of your arse, as well, and realize this isn't about what you want. It's about Stephen being an innocent man, and Sherlock never saying, not even once, that he wants anything like what you're proposing.
If something goes wrong with him, I'll take responsibility. Your job right now is to convince your little brother not to commit suicide.
cw: suicide
No.
[That's to both of them, stern.]
Neither of you will take responsibility if Sherlock kills himself, because that's on his shoulders. He makes his own choices, just like you and I do, good or bad. So stop blaming John for something that's not his fault, and stop accepting blame like you're not capable of standing up and fighting back, and work together to save someone you both care about.
cw: suicide, drug use
[And then, to Bucky--]
Also, this is a private matter and none of your business. Go away.
[Go away, strange person.]
cw: suicide, drug use
He's a grown man, Mycroft. I love him, but I can't be his babysitter. That's not how friendship's meant to work. And it's not how brothers are meant to work, either. We can't change the past and I'll do what I can now, but I'm not going to hurt Stephen to help Sherlock. The Sherlock both of us knows wouldn't want that, however he's acting right now.
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John is right, and if you were so worried about his bad choices then you can be there yourself to watch him. I don't know your brother or what he would or wouldn't want, but you don't try and hurt someone else here deliberately in this way, or I'll make sure that you understand why that's a bad idea.
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[Even if it meant doing things that most people wouldn't do. Couldn't do. Wouldn't let themselves do.]
Is that a threat? [He's being threatened now!? By strange people with John?]
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I care about Sherlock. What you're talking about isn't love. It's obsession. It's not healthy. Not for you and not for him. God knows it's nothing healthy for Stephen. I will do anything within my power and reason to save him. But I won't hurt other people. That's not right.
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He just nods at John, a signal that he'll bow out here, John has it handled.]
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How far would he go? As far as Eurus?
Was this obsession? He hasn't had a chance to step back throughout all of this. To look at anything objectively. But right now, he really didn't want to.
Mycroft's voice comes through, clipped.]
Then I see where you stand on the matter.
[And he hangs up. He'd worry later about John. He'd try to get to Sherlock as soon as possible now.]
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